Hints, tips and other things to raise the ultimate in deaf awareness... (Or we could just all get CI's).... Deafness can be isolating – so can living in a cave on Mount Everest, but I digress.
Tip (1) Don’t avoid conversation with deaf people (OK some deserve avoiding especially if they have deafhood but).... try tap dancing, juggling, pulling funny faces, but remember, access IS NOT an audition for X Factor, overdo it the deafie will prefer isolation, and will take offence to be mistaken for Simon whatever his face is.... (deaf have enough problems already).
Tip (2) Repeat yourself or rephrase until you are understood. Don't shout unless you want a punch in the face, accompanying it with spirited versions of Charades will not endear you much either. Deaf cannot lip-read 'Syllable'
Tip (3) Don’t mumble. Speak clearly and at normal speed. (Try not to appear like Wily Coyote on speed, or look like you are auditioning for Godfather 20)...
Tip (4) Look at the person you are speaking to, it really does help. (Don't stare it's rude, and don't look at the back of their head).
Tip (5) Talk directly to a deaf person, not through a third party. (Assume they don't sign, and the third party may well be Romanian or Serbian, which won't help you much).
Tip (6) Be patient, especially if you are serving in a restaurant or pub. (Absolutely do NOT sign or attempt animated discourse, while serving drink or serving food, you will soak the deafie, or cover him/her with taramasalata or chips).
Tip (7) Check that your business has a working induction loop. (Do point out the staff need a mic as well or you are wasting your time, ditto tell the deafie to (T)une in, and to be wary of wi-fi, the deafie doesn't want to tune into your facebook and Porno pages...
Tip (8) Never make joking asides, e.g. "'ere did you hear the one about the dyslexic chicken and the one-eyed gerbil ?",when talking about filling in state allowance forms. Stick to the conversation, and do not deviate from it without fair warning, deafies do not do spontaneous, and may inadvertently claim for gerbil support.... This will make the deafie look foolish, especially as there is no inclusion of Gerbil support in most forms, not even as assistance gerbils....
Tip (9) Deafies do not always want to be talked to, they have private lives as well, (I know Alan does ! do you know what he was doing in that closet last night, with the velveted loofah?) and they won't welcome even the most ardent sign user, barging in showing their signing prowess, and in-depth knowledge about Milan, while having a quiet meal with their friends.
Tip (10) Deaf want common sense applied, look we don't hear,geddit ? dispense with the theatricals...
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