Sunday, 14 May 2017

FFS ! Not Eurovision again...

Image result for eurovision gorilla

























26 good reasons why the UK voted to Brexit (And the music was just one aspect !).  The annual freak-fest of Eurovision is over for yet another year, why ? we ask, is the UK Media still showing this farce on our TV screens ? Is it not enough Theresa May is PM ?  

None of the voting is concerned with the music it is all political, (you face the Siberian salt mines if you vote for Spain).  Maybe politics is the antidote to such mind-numbing and reason-defying acts such as:

That man in a  gorilla suit with no context whatever to the tune.

Two near-naked men paddling in half an inch of water (Or it may have been .008 centipedes, but who cares ?), whilst some very strange female tried waving her arms about pretending to swim.

The act from Norway that insists she has valid dreams about killing people (Not all that PC given a massacre there a few years ago).

One Act that thought singing about selfies and the Internet was keeping up with the times, although the nude YouTube ballerinas they sung about were not in the videos for some reason, which could have scored them a  few more points....

The prime puzzler was probably that bloke with a horses head on sat on top of a ladder.  There was no explanation or answer to that.

I don't know what drugs these Europeans are taking but it makes the 1960s hippy drug days seem rather tame. All the men looked the same too, they must be cloning them in Europe.  For some obscure reason (Probably down to the fact the acts could NOT get any worse), the UK came 15th, (which is 15 places better than they usually achieve).

About the sole justification for tuning in, is the undeniable fact their women make ours look a bit frumpy (And about 13 stone heavier)....  but at least ours come with memory cells... 

As an habitual deaf person of course I rely on the visuals or the captions, although the latter were no use when they print in own language, one can only assume every single EU person speaks every other language.  That's going bi-lingual and then some... What  a pity they come to the UK and don't understand English.

What struck me about the captions I could follow was the fact 19 of the 26 countries had the same lyrics, just in a  different order, and varying levels of shouting or screaming them at you.

The Visuals were an assault on the senses, mostly Non-sense. Certainly not a visual festival of wonder if you were an epileptic. They did publish a warning about the flashing lights, but did not warn us the whole thing was unadulterated crap mostly, and there was a good film on the other side, or they had to ban a few contestants because they were Russian and had threatened to sing in tune as a protest.

They compensated by allowing 2 Australian entries in, nobody asked the obvious question as to when ? did Australia become part of Europe ?   We thought it was just Syria they came from....  things just took a turn for the worse in OZ and we didn't know.  How on earth they sailed across the Pacific, Indian ocean, AND overland via 4 war zones to compete shows real dedication.

Just when we breathed a huge sigh of relief when it ended, (It overran by an hour because they lost count, and ran out of fingers)... they said they are doing another shortly with not just an occasional loony doing a solo, or a rock band doing 'Yodel-Rap', but entire CHOIRS are about to be unleashed on us all.

One envisages dozens, (Hundreds even), of weirdly dressed choirs with silly hats and clothes on accompanied by random elements from the local circus, singing hymns, what am I saying ? let us not give them more ideas.  You begin to wonder.. IS it a bad idea to prevent Russia invading them...