ATR does feel it isn't as simple as minding your D's, d's, ists and isms! There are people who don't feel disabled are the same as them and go on often very visible examples. Of course, the way you approach that image is the issue. We all suffer from being wary of things we don't understand.
The idea there is some 'perfect' able-bodied example to offer comparisons is the problem as the trend today is everyone is equal and the playing field should be viewed as completely level. Disabled don't really understand 'able-bodied' have issues too and they don't get all they want or deserve either it may be easier to try that's all. Unfortunately, skill levels and ability play a major part in deciding that. With the best will in the world, you don't hire someone with lesser ability just because of their inherent right to apply or an access law says you must.
I don't think it really helps to suggest everything we say or do can be viewed as negative and intended that way. Ignorance pretty much rules, and with regards to deaf people, there are alternative and accepted views on how their issue (Deafness and loss of hearing), may or may not be viewed as a disability, so you have the mainstream confused because they don't really see how one person deaf sees it as a non issue and another feels their life is ruined by it, or the one size fits all is valid.
I think in terms of disability the key here is LOSS of a sense or part of the physiology, and those born without it to start with will not see it as any different. It doesn't help to find new ways to suggest mainstream is down on the disabled when disability is undefined or even the concept opposed from within the areas of those with them. We get the conundrum whereby even those born without some basic issue will claim they are being got at too because subconsciously they buy into their issue disabling them so they can respond on that level.
We aren't all the same, and we don't believe everyone wants that either. It kills aspiration and progress. I can think of nothing worse than everyone on the same level and doubt it is even possible for those with a disability or those without one. Where skills are equal of course. The hashtag culture has a lot of negativity and fuels difference and people's attitude towards it. You can be anti/against another person's view without it being viewed their disability or non-disability is under attack, the problem is people ignorant of the difference, or having a polarised view on things, we can therefore, agree while we aren't in any unison, you cannot expect anyone else will be. If they see one deaf person doing this and another doing that, can we force them to choose which is the most valid?
We are damned if we do, damned if we don't use the right terms, but these terms change daily.... The real issue, is a disability (Indeed deafness and the people with it), become an entity in themselves and a 'breed apart' by default via their own unity of approach towards attitudes, then we are borderline 'us versus them' which is entirely unhelpful to either area. What happens is 'each to his or her own' initialising the default position, so any level playing field then becomes relative.