Monday, 4 May 2020
On Social distancing and mask-wearing being a hindrance to communication, more general gripes HoH talk about.
Social distancing. I just think, what's changed? we are always socially isolated and mostly we have adapted, perhaps we are coping a lot better than those with full hearing and access to everything, I just wonder if they will learn how it is for us ALL the time, and be more considerate. A lot of elderlies I know say nothing much has changed for them on a social level.
Hard of Hearing Clubs? Curiously there are next to none really viable, one or two I did find struggled to adapt to me because I was profoundly deaf. I just felt I was not them and Not with the deaf either. I also managed a bit better than they did. Like most, I am tired of deaf versus hard of hearing and which format is best.
HoH I think have lost their point they don't campaign, they don't challenge, the deaf are in there challenging every single time and every day, they will complain about anything and everything. It is why they get what they need and HoH don't. Maybe it's that old chestnut about us all being in constant denial.
Choosing your battles: Choosing your battles is what it is all about. Yes, we can flaunt our CI's, our hearing aids, or suggest we can lip-read whatever but only in the certainty we have a plan B sadly a lot don't. Awareness advice is still rooted in 1971. Wearing a hearing aid or CI can still suggest to others OK he/she CAN hear with that so... then we get all the issues of us not really following everything and them getting frustrated.. 'you wear these things? you STILL can't hear? Why?'
The clue is in Hearing 'AID'.
Awareness that hasn't worked in my view for the last 30 years and still chants the same mantra 'If you do this or that.. then I can follow', but, maybe we still can't. It takes real courage to say I really will not, or haven't been able to follow you in everything, can you please use this (Whatever format you know WILL work for you).
Basically, you should sort out what is effective and stick to that and not suggest something else. Everything you have or wear is an aid not a cure or an answer.
Other social pressures can put barriers in your way that have nothing to do with the alleviations you use formats you communicate with, or the people you are to. Fessing up to hearing loss is still a real issue with many, even when we KNOW that hearing aid may have become little more than a fashion accessory really.
A lot don't know how deaf they really are and winging it.
There is no equivalent to the ear.
I've been in situations where everything that can be done to help me follow still hasn't worked. Then it depends on if I am happy with what I got, it's important then to set the bar, and know yourself and what you will settle for. 100% being unrealistic an expectation or even to campaign for, we just may not need all that or are unable to take in 100%. We live a life of edited highlights.
Family support an issue?
So you are saying to stop using my family to help? I am a burden on them?
Family are perhaps the only ones making allowances, but I have never personally asked my family or child to ever do that, my issue is my responsibility, I suppose everyone has own choice.
The problem then is what do you do when they aren't available? especially now where contact is limited anyway.
I suppose for some hearing loss areas they really sort of fall into that sort of family support situation mainly because they don't have an alternative or it is simply easier. I wouldn't want my child to see I could not manage. They have own lives to lead.
For deaf its a norm isn't it? they just use whoever offers to help and don't worry about that. They don't see it as reliance on others like HoH do.
Fortunately, I am not reliant. I'm not going at others for whom it works well and they are happy with that, but as an aside I just think at times if we all do that then we don't get to force support systems in place we do need, it becomes a chicken-egg issue. It's a decision you need to make day one you realise your hearing is a major issue. Start as you mean to go on.
I've lost count of areas such as a GP or hospital who say can't your family help? can't they phone? can't they do this that and the other for you? instead of them providing what they have to by law so its an issue that gets blurred.
lol, I said OK next time I have a medical issue I'll send THEM instead...
I appreciate some of us are stuck between the devil and the dark blue sea... each of us approaches that differently. Maybe we really shouldn't.
I think the family are a problem of our making. If you had to see a Dr about something really personal or attend a bank about sensitive money issues, then you don't want relatives there minding your business, do you?
I know! I went to the bank to discuss a money problem and explained I cannot hear very well at all, and they asked did I want a form to give to a family member to act as my carer or a legal representative? I was shocked. They wanted me to give the power of attorney to someone with hearing instead, no way!
Medical issues: Try the clinics, my spouse and I decided 4 kids were enough of a family and were asked to consult with a Dr regarding a vasectomy. The Dr questioned my reasons for having one. But they only had a woman Dr and I did not want to discuss it with her, I wasn't happy with the way she asked why, or, why she needed to know about my sex life. Why was I expected to consult a Dr at all. Women can choose abortion or not, their body, their choice etc.. so why can't I get a vasectomy if I want one? It was as if the man was not entitled to do it without a women's consent.