Thursday, 14 January 2021

The Deaf Way to endorse abuse.


It has to be said the isolated nature of the 'Deaf' communities,  and some accepted 'norms' borders on real neglect of women's rights to their detriment.  There is almost an incestuous nature of the communal makeup where a dearth of females can mean they get 'passed around' the deaf menfolk, women may feel that is still their choice to choose a partner, but that 'choice' is very limited.

Promiscuity can be pretty evident too with a number related by marriage or by children, who become part and parcel of the set up too.  Women can be assaulted on a regular basis and they appear to put up with it, and it is all down to the restrictions a deaf life puts on them, feeling where else can they go?  You can find an acceptance of abuse tends to go on even when other deaf peers know about it.  

The Deaf Way' contributes to more of the same, and women deaf need to understand they don't have to put up with it, and there are alternatives to abuse.  If you need to leave that deaf set up where are the options to do it?  Having deaf history related to me over the years, teen sex and abuse started pretty much in deaf schools, some down to ignorance, a lot down to a refusal to educate deaf children on sex, contraception or relationships, so as to 'not put ideas into their heads' attitudes.  

Of course, sex knowledge is discussed by deaf children at very early ages the same as hearing children, so they don't get real knowledge except by experimentation, with obvious negative results.  Good relationships and socialising is at risk because of the real lack of options.  You can have any colour so long as it is black etc... Hearing-deaf relationships can and do work, but the closed nature of the 'Deaf Way' is a ripe hunting ground for the abuser, who knows his peers tend to turn a blind eye to it all.  A lot of deaf men don't respect their deaf women. 

The cultural 'closing of the ranks' when issues appear contribute to more of the same abuses happening.  Deaf women and Menfolk tend to adopt the view they only have each other to choose partners from, because of issues integrating or communicating to those unlike them.  In some Asian deaf areas that tends to vary because parents arrange who their partners are, so deaf women can be married off to hearing men.  A lot of deaf Asian women are also not allowed to attend non-Asian deaf areas or have relationships with non-asian peers either because of their 'norms'.

A lot of deaf women in the clubs who are older will relate on how things were as teens in school and their blithe acceptance of what the men and they engaged with on a sexual basis would be wholesale abuse by any hearing norm today, the institutional and isolated nature of deaf schools provided a ready-made situation deaf men could easily exploit, some came from the people caring for them.  Teens, of course, ignore tuition anyway, but the deaf years ago never had it to start with and the social norms were what they got away with mostly.

Yes, rape was more a norm in the deaf world than they care to admit. We would urge any deaf woman get out of it, tell someone, stop it all, no one has a right to abuse you.