Thursday, 21 January 2021

State of the Union


[A view from behind the UK barricade]

After watching what was a ridiculous inauguration of a senile (But nice) old bloke in Washington who brought the church and circus into town, a trans singer dressed like coco the clown, which was followed by an outbreak of silly grins, while the populace were banned from attending (because that is taking democracy too far), and instead were represented by a shed load of flags instead, he endorsed 20,000 armed to the teeth troops wandering around hoping to shoot a few protestors,  I think America has lost its Union frankly, and I'm half inclined to throw in my Lot with Vlad the Putin or that Chinese XPing or something. 

Sleepy Joe Biden (They are taking bets he won't last 18 months without stimulants already), then commenced allowing an illegal migrant-free for all (Texans will love that I'm sure, 6m illegals just aren't enough apparently), then he encouraged more Islamics to come (Because Trump stopped them coming citing that the USA has more crazies than it needs already). Obviously, Joe disagrees, democracy demands ALL crazies are welcome (And he can supply them with AK 47's and semtex at very reasonable prices).

His number two (No pun intended), was chosen via some lucky dip of names sent in by Jeremy Corbyn of the UK who is never short of stupid ideas and needed a job in between campaigning for Gay Whales, and London for the Ethnics only. They did have reserves of his including Lassie, and champion the wonder horse on account they carked it some years ago, and used for wood glue, but news travels slowly in Corbyn's UK.

The populace were banned from attending because they wanted to turn the Senate into something useful like a home for the down and out dossers, this was deemed an assault on democracy, you need a job and a few million dollars to sleep in the senate. People were represented by flags instead, (Arnold Finkle of Kansas is represented by the 8th flag 28th row, to the right near that lake, Hi Arnie!).

Boris in London has done a 180 degree and now insists Mr Trump was a bit, you know, OTT about things. Biden is bad news for Boris because he supports the IRA, and the EU, he was told the Irish were already in the EU and had suffered enough. Biden now wants to save the environment and to start putting troops on Russia's borders again, Detroit will lose jobs but... perhaps he will send a few jobless to NATO. Easy money, just turn up, vote nyet, and collect the wages, easy peasy. They will have to queue behind the unemployed European Union members from the UK 'though.

Nigel Farage will be sent back to the UK because Mr Trump has taken up golf again and Nige plans to launch a 'Let's boycott America', campaign, and 'put Joe in a rest home with the other vegetables.' Sources suggest this is yet another winner. Missus Trump did hire a circus tend to wear for the day which was quite colourful and looking forward to raiding the shops again. The consensus is Don timed his arrival in Miami to perfection so 2-0 to Don, leaving Biden looking a bit lost.

Joe has decided to start recognising Europe again (a mistake in our view but..), and is hoping his chickens dipped in domestos bleach will prove a real winner in Berlin or Paris, or even Krakow if he can find it because they have less taste than the British. 'A much better use for bleach then injecting it to stop covid,' he said, 'which didn't work as we hoped, I think it a winner personally..'. 'Any country that can wear silly leather shorts and stuff Saurkraut down their throat 24/7 isn't going to be fussy,' he said 'Or a country that shoots and eats swallows and eats snails.. bleached chicken in cow s.h.i.t. are surefire winners..'

Joe has decided to re-join the WHO set up so he can blame them for all the inactivity and USA balls ups over covid. Biden, also signed 15 reversal papers, (back to the future V or something and conclusive proof he CAN write), also adopted new changes to gender rights, religious, and sexual orientation rights and access, and other concerns, Trump said were just plain ridiculous, (So your guess is as good as mine as to who, or rather what gets legalised next). The good news is newt worship is now a legal right again.

About the only positive of the new ethnic rep at number two, is you are guaranteed a decent curry when you visit. In reality, she is so far left she meets herself half the time walking about and is losing the use of her right limb. 'Anyone can do and be anything in America..I'm an example!' She says, but 'isn't that the whole problem?'